How Anxious People Can Navigate Workplace Bullying

Workplaces can be such interesting little ecosystems, can’t they? On some days, it feels like a second home, filled with laughter, shared goals, and even the occasional “office gossip” over coffee. But on other days, the energy can shift, and suddenly that “team spirit” everyone preaches about feels like a marketing slogan. And nothing drains that spirit faster than a bully in the workplace.

Now, I’ll be honest — I’ve always been a naturally anxious person. I overthink emails before pressing “send.” I rehearse what I’m going to say in a meeting at least three times in my head. And when I encounter workplace bullying, my first instinct has often been silence. Not because I didn’t have words, but because anxiety can freeze you in the moment. If you’re anything like me, you probably know that feeling too — where your body responds with racing thoughts, sweaty palms, and a desperate urge to avoid conflict.

But here’s the thing: anxious people can absolutely deal with workplace bullying. It might look different from how others handle it, but that doesn’t mean it’s less effective.

Understanding What Workplace Bullying Looks Like

Workplace bullying isn’t always about loud confrontations. Sometimes it’s subtle — and those subtle digs can hurt even more. Research shows that bullying can take many forms, including:

• Verbal abuse: Insults, sarcasm, or belittling remarks.
• Exclusion: Being deliberately left out of projects, meetings, or conversations.
• Undermining work: Sabotaging your efforts or dismissing your contributions.
• Micromanaging or intimidation: Creating unnecessary pressure to make you feel “less than.”

For anxious people, these actions hit differently. They don’t just sting in the moment; they linger, often replaying in our heads late at night.

The Anxiety-Bully Loop

One thing I’ve noticed is how anxiety and bullying can feed off each other. Bullies often target people they perceive as “soft” or “less likely to fight back,” and anxious personalities sometimes give off exactly that vibe — quiet, cautious, eager to avoid conflict.

And here’s the catch: the more the bullying happens, the more anxious you feel, which makes it even harder to respond. It’s like being caught in a loop that feels endless.

But let me tell you something I’ve learned: you can break that loop.

Practical Ways to Deal with Workplace Bullies (Especially If You’re Anxious)

This is where both research and lived experience come in. Over time, I’ve discovered strategies that don’t require you to become someone you’re not, but rather use your strengths as an anxious person to navigate bullying.

1. Document Everything

Anxious people are detail-oriented (sometimes too detail-oriented, if I’m being honest). Use that to your advantage. Keep a log of every incident: dates, times, what was said or done, and who was present. Research shows that documentation is one of the most powerful tools when escalating bullying complaints to HR.

2. Don’t React in the Moment

When you’re anxious, reacting instantly can either make you freeze or say something you’ll replay in your head forever. Instead, pause. A simple “I’ll get back to you on that” gives you breathing space to collect your thoughts.

3. Use Neutral but Firm Language

You don’t need to shout or argue. Phrases like:

• “I’d appreciate it if you spoke to me respectfully.”
• “Let’s focus on the work at hand.”
• “That comment felt unnecessary — can we move on?”

Calm but clear language is often the bully’s kryptonite because it signals that you won’t play into their drama.

4. Build a Support Network

Find allies in your workplace. Sometimes, just sharing with a trusted colleague can ease the weight of anxiety. Also, research suggests that bullies are less likely to target people who have visible support.

5. Escalate When Needed

This part can feel terrifying for anxious people — the thought of “making it worse” often keeps us quiet. But HR exists for a reason. If the behavior continues, bring your documentation forward. It’s not about being dramatic; it’s about protecting your well-being.

A Personal Reflection

There was a time in my career when I dreaded Monday mornings because of one colleague who had made it their mission to belittle me in front of others. At first, I internalized it — thinking maybe I wasn’t good enough. But over time, I realized their behavior said more about them than me.

What helped me most was documenting every incident and, eventually, having a very calm but firm conversation where I addressed it. My voice shook, my palms were sweaty, but I stood my ground. And funny enough, the bullying stopped. Not because I “won,” but because bullies thrive on silence. Once you shine a light on them, their power fades.

The Bigger Picture

Workplace bullying isn’t just a “me” problem or a “you” problem. It’s an organizational issue. Companies that allow bullying to continue create environments where anxiety and stress thrive, leading to burnout and even resignations. Research consistently shows that healthy workplace cultures improve not just morale, but productivity too.

So if you’re an anxious person dealing with a bully, remember this: you’re not weak. In fact, your self-awareness, empathy, and attention to detail are incredible strengths. And while it might feel impossible in the moment, you have more power than you think.

Final Thoughts

Bullying at work is hard for anyone, but for anxious people, it can feel soul-crushing. The good news? You don’t have to suffer in silence. With the right tools, support, and strategies, you can reclaim your peace — and your power.

After all, we spend so much of our lives at work. You deserve to feel safe, respected, and valued there.