Don’t Judge Me If You Don’t Know the Struggles I’ve Had to Fight

One thing life has taught me is that everyone goes through something. Our challenges don’t look the same, but we all get our share. Some are big, some are small, some drag on for years, but no one goes untouched.

That’s why I get uncomfortable when people look at where I am today and think it was handed to me. It wasn’t. I had to fight hard for my space in this world. I’ve had to let go of things I wanted to hold on to, and I’ve had to keep moving forward even when it didn’t feel fair.

So before you judge me, understand that you don’t know the battles I’ve fought to get here.

Growing Up Without a Parent’s Protection

One of the biggest battles of my life has been growing up without the daily love and protection of an active parent. Losing a parent is not a unique story — many people have faced it — but for me, it was deeply personal.

It changes you. You grow up learning to look out for yourself. You learn to fight for every opportunity because no one is coming to shield you. Even now as an adult, I carry some of those scars.

Fighting Tooth and Nail

When I say I fought, I mean it. Life didn’t make things easy, but God carried me through.

I remember one time I wrote a post on Facebook thanking God for His grace and mercy. A lady commented, “If we had to attest to God’s grace, we’d say we saw His mercy in you because we never thought you’d make it this far.”

I knew she meant it as a compliment, but honestly, it stung. Imagine realizing that people expected you to fail. Worse still, some of those same people had gone out of their way to make life harder for us.

It’s one thing to struggle; it’s another to know that people are watching you struggle and waiting for you to collapse. That comment stayed with me.

When People Suddenly Remember You

Now that I’m older, something strange happens. The very same people who weren’t there when I needed them most suddenly pop up. They call. They ask for help. They want things from me.

And you know what? It hurts. Because my inner child remembers. She remembers who didn’t show up when it mattered. She remembers the silence.

Now that I’ve made something of myself, suddenly I’m “good enough.” Suddenly, I’m worth reaching out to. But where was that energy when I needed love, support, or just someone to show up?

Protecting My Peace

Here’s the truth: I don’t owe anyone anything. I don’t say that to be harsh, but to be honest. I can’t keep pouring into people who never poured into me.

I still need to heal the parts of me that went without. I need to protect my peace and take care of the child inside me who was neglected for so long. That means setting boundaries. That means saying no sometimes. And that means not letting guilt trick me into carrying everyone else’s load.

Moving Forward

I’m not bitter. I’m grateful. I’m proud of the woman I’ve become and the life I’ve built. But I’ve also learned that being strong doesn’t mean being available to everyone. It means knowing when to step back, protect your space, and choose yourself.

So if you see me pulling away or not rushing to meet other people’s demands, it’s not pride. It’s healing. It’s me finally taking care of myself the way I always wished someone had.