By a mom of 3, a cool aunt, a 9-5 warrior, a side-hustler, and the blogger who accidentally turned her venting space into a whole thing.
The Laptop Trap
One thing I learned in mid-management: you need to manage down and you need to manage up. Managing your team is only half the job. The other half is managing the person above you. And let me tell you, if you do not get this right, your mental health pays the price.
I was given a laptop. Seems innocent enough. A tool for productivity. But what it really became was an open door. An expectation that I was reachable at all hours. That emails at 9 PM deserved answers. That weekend requests were normal. That my time was not mine, it was the company’s, just because they had provided the means to access me.
I have too much else happening in my life to fall into that trap. A business. A blog. Four children. A marriage. A household. My Ashwagandha only stretches so far. So I learned to manage expectations upward, firmly, kindly, and without apology. Here is how I do it.
Why Managing Up Matters
Your boss sets the tone. They control your workload, your deadlines, your stress levels, your chances of advancement. But they are also human. They have their own pressures, their own blind spots, their own habits of overloading people who never push back. If you do not communicate your boundaries, your capacity, your reality, they will assume you can handle whatever they throw at you.
Managing up is not manipulation. It is clarity. It is partnership. It is protecting your time so you can be effective, not just available.
How I Do It
1. I Give 110% at the Office
When I am at work, I am fully at work. Focused, efficient, present. I do not waste hours. I do not drag tasks out. I give my 110% so that when the clock hits the end of my day, I have earned the right to walk away clean. My boss gets the best of me during paid hours. And in return, my home time gets to be my home time. No guilt. No leakage. No pretending I am present with my kids while my mind is still in a spreadsheet.
This is the deal I make with myself and the standard I set with my boss. High performance in exchange for hard boundaries.
2. I Set Boundaries Early and Clearly
Before the laptop becomes a leash, I state my hours. I am available between 8 AM and 5 PM. Urgent matters outside those hours go through a specific channel, a phone call, not a casual email. I do not apologise for this. I present it as a fact that ensures I deliver my best work during the hours I am paid for.
If your boss expects 24-7 availability, that is a conversation that needs to happen. Not once. Repeatedly, until it sticks.
3. I Communicate My Capacity
I do not pretend I can do everything. When I am at capacity, I say so. Not with complaints, with facts. “I have three priorities this week: the quarterly report, the team performance reviews, and the client presentation. If you add the budget analysis, something will slip. Which would you like me to deprioritise?”
This shifts the burden back where it belongs. It shows I am managing my time strategically, not lazily. It forces my boss to make choices instead of simply dumping more on me.
4. I Document Everything
Conversations about expectations get forgotten or reinterpreted. I follow up in writing. “Just confirming our discussion: the deadline for the project is Friday, with the understanding that the additional scope you mentioned will be phase two next month.” This protects me. It protects my boss. It creates a record that prevents scope creep and last-minute surprises.
5. I Under-Promise and Over-Deliver
Not in a manipulative way. In a realistic way. If I think a task will take three days, I say four. If I finish early, everyone wins. If something goes wrong, I have buffer. Consistently missing deadlines because I agreed to impossible timelines damages trust. Building in realistic expectations builds credibility.
6. I Ask for Priorities
When everything is urgent, nothing is. I ask my boss to rank requests. “You have given me five tasks due this week. Can you help me understand which two are most critical?” This does two things. It shows I am thinking strategically. And it often reveals that some of the urgency was manufactured, not real.
7. I Protect My Non-Work Life Fiercely
My evenings belong to my kids. My weekends belong to my business and my sanity. I do not check emails after hours unless it is a genuine crisis. I do not respond to messages that can wait. I do not let the laptop blur the line between professional and personal.
This is not unprofessional. It is sustainable. A burnt-out employee is useless to everyone. A rested, focused employee delivers better results in fewer hours.
The Conversation That Changed Everything
I once told my boss, directly, “I want to do excellent work for you. When I am here, I give everything. But I also have a family and a business that depend on me. My home time needs to be my home time. Can we agree on what actually requires immediate response and what can wait until the next business day?”
It was uncomfortable. But it was necessary. And it worked. We established norms. I stopped being the person who replied at midnight. I started being the person who delivered thoughtful, complete work during working hours, then fully unplugged.
To the One Dreading That Conversation:
Your boss is not a mind reader. They may not know you are drowning. They may not realise the laptop feels like a chain. They may not understand that your time is already split between too many deserving things.
Speak up. Not with resentment. With clarity. Not with demands. With solutions. Manage up like your mental health depends on it. Because it does.
Now go give your 110% until 5 PM, close that laptop, and go be fully present where it matters most.
Drink your Ashwagandha. You’ve got this.
