Maybe I Just Have One of Those Faces
Over the years, I have noticed something that has genuinely left me scratching my head. It has happened often enough that I no longer think it is just a coincidence. People seem remarkably comfortable talking to me about leaving their jobs. Maybe I have one of those faces that says, “I’m unhappy too.” I honestly do not know.
That thought first crossed my mind after something quite funny happened. One day I was visibly irritated about something at work. It was one of those days where something had annoyed me, but nothing more than that. A colleague came over and quietly asked whether I was planning to resign. I laughed and told her I had absolutely no intention of leaving. Just to make my point, I jokingly said that if they ever wanted me out, HR and Security would have to drag me out kicking and screaming. We both burst out laughing because the joke made the point perfectly. I was not unhappy. I was simply having a bad moment.
That conversation stayed with me because it made me wonder whether people mistake being quiet for being miserable. I generally keep to myself. I come to work, do my job and avoid involving myself in things that have nothing to do with me. Perhaps keeping to yourself is enough for people to assume you’re quietly planning your escape.
The Conversation That Took an Unexpected Turn
Not long ago, I found myself in another interesting conversation with a completely different group of colleagues. We were discussing LinkedIn recommendations and how we could help each other build stronger professional profiles. I genuinely liked the idea. Supporting someone’s career costs nothing, and you never know when that recommendation might open a door for them in the future.
Then, almost without anyone noticing, the conversation slowly drifted somewhere else. Suddenly, we were no longer talking about LinkedIn. We were talking about leaving the company.
If my memory serves me correctly, this happens more often than I realise. Somehow, a conversation about professional growth eventually becomes a conversation about greener pastures.
The Vacancies I Never Asked For
On another occasion, a colleague started sending me job advertisements every now and then. At first, I assumed she was simply sharing opportunities she thought were interesting. After a while, however, she asked me why I had not applied for any of them.
I remember looking at her, genuinely confused. I had never mentioned looking for another job. I politely told her, just as I have told several people over the years, that I had no intention of leaving. Perhaps one day that might change, but at that particular moment, I was perfectly content staying where I was.
She seemed surprised by my answer. She told me I was smart, that I deserved better, that I was undervalued and that I was treated badly. I remember thinking to myself, “Really?” Not because I believed she was wrong, but because I had never viewed my own situation through that lens.
The Gentleman Who Has Been Leaving for Quite Some Time
Then there is another colleague who always makes me smile whenever this topic comes up.
If my memory serves me correctly, he has been leaving for quite some time now. Over the years I have heard conversations about exciting opportunities, better salaries, being headhunted and even resigning. At one stage, it sounded as though everything had already been finalised and he would soon be gone.
Then someone who had worked with him at another company simply laughed and said, “He does this all the time.”
I honestly did not know what to say after that. I found the situation more amusing than anything else. Some resignation stories seem to have more chapters than the average television series. The humour is not that someone wants to leave. There is nothing wrong with that. It is simply fascinating how some departures remain in the planning phase for years.
Not Everyone Talks About Leaving the Same Way
To be fair, not everyone fits into that pattern.
There is another colleague who genuinely seems ready for a new chapter. She has spoken about wanting different opportunities, and it feels sincere. The difference is that she is not trying to persuade everyone around her to reach the same conclusion. She simply seems to know what she wants, and I respect that.
That, to me, feels very different. There is a difference between making a personal career decision and turning leaving into a group discussion.
The Grass Always Seems Greener Somewhere Else
Something else I have noticed is how easily people compare workplaces. According to some conversations, there are companies where employees are appreciated more, paid significantly better and treated much more fairly. At one point, Eskom even became part of the discussion. I heard stories about how well people there supposedly earn and how different life is compared to where we are.
Every time those comparisons come up, I quietly think to myself, “I have never worked there, so I honestly wouldn’t know.”
Perhaps those stories are true. Perhaps they are not. Every workplace has people who love it and people who cannot wait to leave. I have learnt to be careful about romanticising organisations I have never experienced for myself.
Maybe My Expectations of Work Are Different
One thing I have realised through all these conversations is that my expectations of work may simply be different.
I go to work to solve problems, contribute, learn, grow and earn a living. If I build meaningful friendships along the way, I consider that a bonus. I am there to work, not to collect invitations to house parties. Not everyone has to like me. We do not all have to agree, and we certainly do not all have to become best friends.
That is probably why I am always surprised when someone tells me, “They treat you so badly,” or, “You’re too smart to still be here.”
Maybe they genuinely see something I do not. Maybe their own experience has been completely different from mine. I honestly do not know, and I would never dismiss someone else’s reality. But I also do not feel the need to justify why I have chosen to stay.
Perhaps They’re Simply Thinking Out Loud
The more I have reflected on all these separate conversations over the years, the more I have realised that perhaps nobody was trying to convince me specifically. Maybe I just happened to be the person standing there. Perhaps they were simply thinking out loud, looking for someone who saw things the same way they did. I honestly don’t know.
What I do know is that these conversations have reminded me that career decisions are deeply personal. Some people are ready for a new challenge. Others are looking for better pay, a healthier work environment or simply a fresh start. Others are perfectly content where they are. None of those decisions are wrong because every person’s circumstances are different.
Maybe that’s the lesson I’ve taken from all of this. My decision to stay is not a criticism of someone else’s decision to leave, just as their decision to leave is not a criticism of mine. We all have different priorities, different ambitions and different reasons for making the choices we do. The only mistake is assuming that everyone else should arrive at the same conclusion as we have.
